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Wednesday, June 27, 2012
Too Much Free Range Penis In The Locker Room
So, true story: About a week ago Mrs. Peterson and I went to the gym to work out, and as I walked into the locker room, among the usual fat, disgusting out of shape dudes with their latin weiners bouncing around, there was an unusually happy white dude standing in front of the mirror closest to the lockers I prefer. I like these lockers specifically because no one else likes to use them, thus less of these "types" I have to bump into. Well, anyway, this guy, mid 50s, was butt naked, with tennis shoes on, looking in the mirror with a very satisfied grin, staring at his butterball physique. He was fresh out of the shower, and applying some kind of something all over his shiny chest. Thats about all I needed to see, so I ran out, eyes on my shoes.
We did about 20 mins of cardio, 45 mins of kettlebells, then a little stretchy-stretch, and headed for the locker rooms. By now, I just take it as a given I will have to run a dick gauntlet to get in and out of there, but this time, something caught my eye. Something I was not expecting to see. That guy was still there! Still naked! Still in front of my locker looking into that mirror! This is more than an HOUR later! What the fuck! Oh, yeah, and he was still wet, like he was fresh out of the shower, again. And... I know I did not see him in the gym. Someone, anyone, please explain this to me! Has he just been hanging out this whole god dammned time naked and showerering and showering and naked and rubbing god knows what into his oily chest???? Guess what? I DONT KNOW!
Listen, if you are working out at any public gym, keep your cock to yourself, wear a fucking towel, and for god sakes, if hanging out in a gym taking showers and rubbing oily shit into your skin in front of a mirror is all you have left in this world, kill your self...please! Because I need to get to my locker and your wrinkled on dick is getting in my way.